CAN YOU MARRY YOU?

Writing this message from the depth of my heart, trusting the Holy Spirit to chisel us and polish us into the full stature of Christ.

I can never forget the day the Holy Spirit asked me that question. It was after my graduation from the University. I was single. I mean not even in any relationship at the time.

I daily bombarded the heavens with my cry for marital settlement.

One day, I heard in my spirit *Esther can you marry you?*
I have never heard nor read anything like that before.

*Can you marry you?*

I just laughed at my thoughts.

After reflecting for a short while I got the understanding.

In simpler form, it means *If you are a man, Can you marry a typical woman like yourself? Are you marriageable?
Wow! That took me a lot of time to reflect on.

I got the message the Holy Spirit was trying to communicate to me.

With great joy, I listed out all the wonderful things about my personality and character.
At the end I smiled, feeling very beautiful.

*Look beyond your good sides* I was prompted.

My mood changed immediately.
Most of us hate to give our dark side some attention.

I noted my bad attitudes...
I do yell at my siblings when I am angry, which I don't do to annoying-outsiders,
I can be full of my ways sometimes,
I am stubborn. I will do what I choose to do when I feel like it.

This is the part of me I never took to heart until that day.

"Imagine you get married to someone who yell at you when he's angry, he doesn't listen to your advice and very stubborn husband; how would your marriage turn out"

"It won't work" I admitted.

That was how I started learning not to yell at people who infuriates me. I just take a walk away or pray for self-control under my breath. Sometimes I cried instead of shouting at someone who yell at me especially elderly people.

While preparing for my Youth service, my mentor Pastor Muyiwa Olufemi had a conversation with me. After celebrating all my good qualities, he said;
"...You are a strong willed person. This trait is a strength and could be a weakness. I advise you to work on it. This trait is not totally bad if only you don't allow the negative side of it take you over..."

It hurt me deeply.

But I wasn't surprised.

Being a strong-willed person helped me overcome peer-pressure while growing up. It helped me to stand through thorns without compromising my values. It helped me fit into the position my father"s demise left for me to assume.

Being the first born, my mom treats me like her little sister and partner. She groomed me to lead, tutor and be a disciplinarian for my siblings. Being a strong-willed person was a strength to me. I could exert my authority.
I am a very determined and focused woman. Distractions don't appeal to me.

The bad sad of this strength is what I call *unbending* *unyielding*

I kept praying that the Lord should break me and mould me.

Looking back now, I can remember all the stubborn set of people God threw my way to *bend* me.

I dislike them. I refused to bend to the stubbornness in them. I acted like I am up to the task till someone bows eventually.

When they prove stubborn with me, I shut down without giving in.

I didn't understand the workings of the Holy Spirit in me on time until later.

During my youth Service, the Lord made me go through some unpalatable circumstances. I was cheated, humiliated, yet the Holy Spirit told me to either *endure by keeping quiet or make peace even when I am not at fault*

That was hard!

Thank God for that season of moulding.

Fast forward to few Months into my courtship, I and my husband had a misunderstanding on the phone. I was angry and yelled at him on the phone telling him not to call my phone.

He called me the next day, I ignored.
The second day, I refused to pick.
The third day, I was expecting his calls but he stopped calling.

I got troubled in my heart. Chai!
I have overstepped my boundary.
I have over-reacted.
The right thing would have been for me to call him but I couldn't.
I was ashamed of myself. How could I overreact like that! I thought I am MADE!
I kept checking my phone at short intervals hoping he would call.
I got tired. Yet I didn't want to be the one calling him to make peace.
I thought this stubbornness is done with. I reasoned and turned sober.
In the evening he called me and we settled.
I was so happy yet I felt very bad and angry with myself. What exactly is that *thing* in me that makes me unyielding?
My husband was more of disappointed in me than annoyed.
"Unbending and unyielding is a sign of UNBROKENNESS" He said
It was the first and the last during our courtship.

EveryOne Needs Somebody

Everyone needs Somebody

Man (male and female inclusive) was created to be a social being. That is, he has the ability to be interactive with his environment and the people in it. It was the resultant effect of Adam’s loneliness and need for a companion that brought about the need for a companion and the social behavior of man.

No man in life has ever achieved anything independently without the need or input of other people no matter the knowledge of that person. No general can single-handedly go to war without the support of other soldiers. There can’t be a government without the people and so on. So the existence of one person is needful for the companionship of the other person.

 No matter how successful a person thinks that he or she has attained in life and needs no one’s contribution, such a one is heading for doom’s day. Success without a successor as it is been said amounts to total failure,  therefore everyone needs somebody.

Don’t get mad at people when they tell you they feel so lonely and depressed, not really their fault because it’s just an expression of that social being in them seeking for attention, seeking for a companion to fill the gap that has engulfed such a one.

Life has lots of pains and frustration, filled with failures and disappointments and most times requires the companionship of a fellow to help one get out of frustration.

It’s in an effort for a man to socialize and deal with loneliness that brought about the invention of social media. A platform where people can interact with each other, get to meet new people, let go unprofitable companionship and look for people who can really fill that loneliness in them. If you get to ask some people what their hobbies are, you get to see kinds of stuff like meeting new friends, traveling, chatting and a whole lot more. In a way, it could be seen as hubbies but in its real sense it’s sense, it’s just an expression of the social need of man and the ways to fill that vacuum.

Therefore, we can strongly agree that each one of us needs a person who can listen, give attention and really wants to know at each point in time how we are feeling. No man is an island

People complain that attention is not given to them or that they are been neglected

At some point in time, we are on the verge of giving up on life, don’t give up my friend, a companion is all you need to sparkle up the greatness in you.

It may look as though, life and everyone is against you. It could be at times frustrating that there is no one to speak to his or her hearing. At times, you are so desperate to speak to someone about your problems, you just needed the heart to hear you out of your pains and probably tell you

Everyone needs a shoulder to lean on.
Everyone needs a heart that could comprehend his or her torments.
Everyone needs a listening ear that can hear him or her out of their life’s issues.
Try as much as possible to be that individual whom, if individuals share their torments with you, they get calmed and find reasons to be alive!
Be that shoulder that individuals can incline toward and discover trust.
Be that listening ear that is prepared to listen to individuals of their disappointments.
Be that heart that can be effortlessly broken at the plight of individuals. 

Learn to be concerned about others and not been so concerned about yourself alone

Poverty Is Not Just About Money

poverty is not just about cash. Oxford University in Britain says destitution additionally implies not having enough sustenance, training, social insurance and haven.

Recently, Oxford University discharged its most recent measure of destitution. It is known as the Multidimensional Poverty Index, or MPI. Scientists assembled data from 108 nations, where 78 percent of the total populace lives. Oxford says in regards to 1.6 billion of those individuals are what it calls "multi-dimensionally poor." It says most live in country ranges.

Sabina Alkire is the leader of the Oxford Poverty and Human Development Initiative. She portrays multidimensional destitution.

"I mean a man who has distinctive things turning out badly in the meantime. They won't not have numerous advantages and they may have hunger. What's more, they won't not have over five years of tutoring. In this way, a few things are turning out badly in their life in the meantime. That is being multi-dimensionally poor. It's not only one."

The MPI found that in almost 50 creating nations, half of the needy individuals ought to be called "down and out" - as it were, having an outrageous absence of fundamental expectations for everyday comforts.

Poverty Is A Sickness, Deal With It

Poverty is a sickness, deal with it

Poverty is defined as the general state of scarcity or the state in which one lacks a certain amount of material possessions or money in his or her possession. It is a concept which cuts across many areas of life, which includes social, economic, spiritual and political elements

The lack of money seems to be more source of evil in our society than the love of money today. People go into so much evil because of the lack of money but no evil is justifiable for going into because of the lack of money.

Indeed, I can say clearly that poverty is a sickness that has crippled many dreams and visions, and only a few are determined to come out of that sickness called poverty.

Poverty has killed many dreams, aspirations and until you treat poverty as a sickness and handle it the way you handle Malaria, you are entitled to remain poverty-ridden and your life a good definition of what poverty is.

That you were born poor is not a license to continue in poverty and hand over poverty to the generation coming after you. It is not a crime to be born poor but it becomes an evil thing when one decides to live poor and die poor.

That you were born without a silver spoon does not mean you cannot get the golden spoon for your children and generations unborn.

Holiness + Poverty = Lazarus kind of life although going to heaven

Also

Holiness + True Riches= Isaac kind of life that was richer than a nation yet was going to heaven too like Lazarus the beggar.